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“My girlfriend is religious and I don’t believe in God. How do we find an even ground?”

everyoneisgay:

-Question submitted by Anonymous

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Dannielle Says: 

You find an even ground with respect. 

Respect is underrated these days, we don’t have to have the same opinions you guys, we have to respect the fact that we are all totally diff. 

It’s very hard to have a strong faith in something and hear someone you love say that they think your belief is silly. So, that’s a thing you should never do, never make her feel silly for believing. Listen to her. Respect her. Understand her. Ask her to do the same. You absolutely can have a working relationship with different beliefs, as long as you both WANT TO. word? Listen to each other and dialogue about why you believe the things you believe. It’s ridiculously interesting to have these conversations with an open mind. 

Kristin Says

I second this motion.

You guys… so very many of us in this world think that because we believe something, that makes that something a true and unalterable fact. That is not how belief works. Belief is something that is personal, something that is often spiritual, and something that is specific to your experience and understanding.

One of the most engaging conversations that you could likely ever have with the person you love is why you have the beliefs that you have, how they have been informed, and what they mean to you right now. You can talk about belief without an end-goal of having the person you speak with decide they believe just like you. You can find common ground in some experiences and still have a different overall concept. That is the beauty of having a brain and a heart.

Now, some people do have the need to share a belief in a higher being with the person they fall in love with (or vice versa), and if either of you feel strongly about having the same beliefs when it comes to religion, you should have that conversation asap. If however, you are both open to a relationship with differing beliefs, I encourage you to listen to what Dannielle said up there about respect, and remember two things:

1) Different beliefs do not make us incompatible, they make us interesting and complex human beings capable of intriguing and amazing conversations.

2) Beliefs are not stagnant things, they are shaped each and every day by those around us. You may always not believe in God, and she may always believe in God… but the way you believe those things can be shaped by your conversations and your love for each other, and that is an incredible thing.

Also!! SIDENOTE. We happen to be talking about religion as it relates to sexuality on today’s KDVS radio show, so if this is a topic that gets your feathers ruffled or whatever, tune in at 12PM EST/ 9AM PST!!!!